


There is No Happy Ending Here

by canarycry (Frost_Iron)



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drabble, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), and sad steve, poor sad bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 07:12:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11352453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frost_Iron/pseuds/canarycry
Summary: Memories are not always happy reminders of the past.





	There is No Happy Ending Here

The apartment wasn’t anything like what James remembered. In place of the old brick building there was now a shiny skyscraper and where he and Steve had once played, there was now a coffee shop. He hated that though he had been away for seventy years; he didn’t feel any of the pain that came with spending nearly a century away from his home. All he felt was a pit of emptiness that he had recently taken to filling with copious amounts of alcohol. James knew that Steve would disapprove but he didn’t see the  _Captain_  there to stop him.

He wandered aimlessly down the street until he came upon an alley that looked vaguely familiar to him. As he sauntered down the pavement, which was littered with pieces of trash, images began to flash before his eyes. Where there was now an empty food container there was once a newspaper with a headline announcing the start of the war. And where there was a dirty magazine, there had once been a metal trashcan with a lid… _oh_. James swallowed and recalled the last fight he had pulled his best friend from before he left for the war. It had happened here and now the assassin was recalling it all as flashes of memories that he had long since forgotten.

It was as he was staring at where he had helped Steve to his feet that he heard the footsteps of someone approaching him from behind. The freshly fallen snow crunched under heavy boots as the weight of the man behind him settled.

Instinctually James had reached for a dagger and was now palming it even though he was well aware of who it was that stood behind him.

He swallowed hard and forced himself to turn and look. Things weren’t the same as they once had been— not since he had fallen from the train and been scooped up by Hydra.

” _W_ hat are you doing here?” James muttered, voice rough as he forced out the words in English.

Raising his hands, the Captain let out a breath. “I’m—” He cut himself off as he looked Bucky over. Some part of him was still processing that Bucky was alive. “I’m here looking for you, Bucky.” He admitted as he met his gaze and lowered his hands a bit. 

”I came for you.” He repeated, sucking in a sharp breath. “I know you’re still in there; my best friend he’s still there, isn’t he? You saved me from dying…why else would you do that unless…unless you remembered?”

 The Winter Soldier narrowed his eyes, the knife in his hand glimmering in the moonlight as he stood in front of the Captain. Every time this man called him ‘Bucky’, the assassin flinched. It seemed familiar and yet it also felt like a distant memory; he couldn’t recall why it felt like he knew the name, but he knew he wasn’t that person, not anymore.

"I’m not your Bucky,“ he stated, voice lacking any real warmth. "And if you don’t leave, I’ll be forced to finish my mission.” He swallowed and slipped the knife back into the hidden compartment in his pants. Part of him wanted to go with the other man and find out about his past that he had been forced to forget.

The hard look on his face faltered a little when the Captain called him his best friend. The idea that anyone would care about him shocked him because he had been trained to think of himself only as a weapon; a tool to be used - without having feelings. He wasn’t allowed to want something; to want to remember. But what if he couldn’t remember? This man standing before him seemed so hopeful that this 'Bucky’ could remember what had once been, but what if the brainwashing that Hydra had done was permanent?

Of course he had recalled the man on the helicarrier and that was why he had saved him. 'I’m with you till the end of the line.’ The assassin closed his eyes and tried to sort through the memories that were trickling in slowly. “I saved you because I wanted to finish my mission. Did you think that perhaps I was going to let you heal so that I could fight you properly? Letting you drown was not my mission,” he stated.

"If you don’t want me to finish the mission then you would do well to leave now,“ he hissed. He swallowed and went to brush past the Captain, wanting to flee again as he tried to find himself. When his shoulder made contact with the Captain’s, the assassin gasped a little, a memory appearing out of nowhere.

He recalled a table; laying down on a cold metal surface, repeating a string of numbers and then suddenly the Captain was hovering over him. "I thought you were smaller,” he whispered, his mind returning to the present in the alley where the Captain was standing. The Winter Soldier inhaled sharply and turned back to face Captain America.

“I don’t know why I said that…why do I remember that?”

Suddenly his vision clouded and he felt a sensation of falling freely through the air before he woke with a startled gasp, still mumbling about remembering. “Steve…I remember now,” he stated, smiling as he opened his eyes.

But where the alley had been was now just a room, and his arms were strapped down to the chair that he remembered all too well.

The cold, striking eyes of Aleksander Lukin bored into him.

“He’s been out too long.

\--Wipe him and start again.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this small drabble! I found it in a collection of written things that I had stored away and decided I liked it too much to just delete it. Kudos/Comments are appreciated as always!


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